http://twenty4seven-.tumblr.com :)

Get me into a coma, I'm tearing apart.

Heartbreaker;

I've always wholeheartedly believed that I was only a little more naive than others. Not until recently did it dawn on me that 'naive' is defined as pure stupidity in others' perspective. And it's probably worthless and insignificant to certain people. I should thank god for lifting that blind off my eyes, but I would appreciate a subtle revelation. We've seen our fair share of separation, I thought it could desensitize the heartache we feel when people leave. So why am I still painstakingly, in my futile attempt, trying to alleviate this disappointment? I know. I simply can't accept the fact that I've been painting this perfect illusion right from the start, single-handedly. Blessing in disguise I'd say, if there was ever something good I could ever get out of all these shit.

Then, my usual patron of trouble - Netball. Cut to the chase. From the most bottom of my heart, I don't find the team's strategy (or you may call it her strategy) useful/effective. BUT, she is not realizing it. Therein lies the problem. I'm wasting my time preparing for A divs which is coming in three days time by practising in something that CANNOT work. It's like misplaced faith. I've just got to persist and carry on in this mistake and cross my fingers to pray that it'll carry us somewhere, far enough.

I'm drained by what's going on all around me. I'll never find a satisfied answer as to why life is such a bitch.

James bond

Mission impossible

#1 Finish biology block test topics by tonight
#2 Finish Organic Chemistry, energetics, chemical equilibrium, kinetics in 5 hours tomorrow
#3 Feel prepared for mathematics and not feel like I don't know anything
#4 Browse through all lecture notes on hydrology and not get drowned
#5 Not struggling to write something out for geog essay
#6 Not feeling like a total loser for block test

I hate this stupid phase called the block test. Like just one year ago at this hell time, I was enjoying my damn March holidays and wondered how were the seniors coping with their block tests and before I know anything, block test is like tomorrow. OH MY GOD. I think before I could come to any realization I would've already been 40 years old. But at least I would've thrown away all my bio lecture notes by then. Liberation.

AND SO, IM STILL STUCK TO NETBALL !#@$%&^* I still have to face these damn months of shit emotional roller coaster. I'm hope I'm alive in May. Sometimes people get caught up in situations not because they can't do it, but for the mere fact they can't decide whether they should do it or not. Ohwell, SA must retain top4 this year. All or nothing. My stakes are way too high. I don't want to waste my efforts. If I'm destined to go to hell, then I'll do whatever it takes to give it my best fight. I reckon motivational talks are useless, especially when I'm both the speaker and the listener. Because at the end of the day, bruise and battered regardless, I'm still stuck in hell.

-

You know when life sucks, you tend to miss people you love.

BLACK I HOPE WE MEET UP SOON, LET'S FLY BACK TO INDIA, SINGAPORE'S TOO STRESSFUL FOR ME. I HAVE GOT SO MUCH TO TELL YOU I SWEAR I MISS YOU LIKE CRAZY AND WOULD LOVE TO SHARE YOUR BLACKEST DAY WITH YOU.

HI CIHUI AND GERALDINE, I'M GLAD TO KNOW YOU GUYS HAVING SO MUCH FUN WITH YOUR TEAM OVER AT VJ, CONTINUE TO SMILE AND SHINE, STUDIES OR NETBALL, DAY OR NIGHT, SUNNY OR RAINY, REALLY MISS YOU TWO HELLLLLLLLLA LOT.

WEIBIN PLEASE STUDY HARD FOR BLOCK TEST AND PROVE IT TO EVERYBODY ELSE THAT MSA WAS JUST A SMALL FAILURE AND EVEN THE GREATEST FALL SO KEEP YOUR SPIRIT UP AND WORK DOUBLY TRIPLY QUADRAPLY HARD FOR THIS TIME ROUND, SUCCESS COMES TO THOSE WHO BELIEVE.

ALICIA PE I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU SINCE LIKE ICE AGE I REALLY HOPE YOU'RE DOING GOOD. SCHOOL'S STARTING RIGHT? JIAYOU OKAY. AT LEAST THERE'S NO MORE COACH VIVIEN AROUND TO SHOUT AND SCREAM. AND YOU KNOW I STILL LIKE YOU STANDING BESIDE ME FOR CENTRE PASS THE BEST.

HELLO MY LIVE LIVE PARTNER, ALTHOUGH I DOUBT YOU'LL EVER SEE THIS BUT I REALLLLLLLY ENJOY TALKING TO YOU THE OTHER TIME AT MDM HIDAYAH'S CONDO AND I REALLY WANT ANOTHER ROUND OF IT. CONTINUE TO WORK HARD FOR BADMINTON, SEASON'S COMING. KEEP GOING. LOVE YOU.

I'd probably hug you and cry if I ever bump into anyone of you on the streets.

Man seems, Spirit is.

I know it's been long. HAH. But it isn't exactly my fault that my cursor refuse to stay in this brown box for more than 5 minutes (I do know I control the cursor, though). That's the furthest it can go. Still, I think I deserve some behind-the-scenes credits, no matter how insignificant it may be, for trying my very very best to update. I occassionally sign in, type in a few words, press backspace and sign out of blogger. Okay, like that helps.

Anyways.

2009 is done and over with. What a year it's been. Definitely memorable. Entering SA, orientation, netball trials, making friends, INTERVALS, trainings, season, 2.4km, morning assembly in the CC upper tier, service learning, learning festival, 09S16, every single bit of bus ride 31, oversleeping, the scrutiny of the two biggest kong ba baos in world history, CHICKEN CROISSANT, trophy room, TRACK, lightning risk alert, season closing dinner, farewell, PeeDoubleYou, playing ball in school till 10pm, Derrick Ong basketball challenge, nostalgia. Everything. And, twenty ten, please be good. I need some grace.

You know I'm kinda used to having suicide trainings after all those gruelling tournament seasons over the past years. Yet nothing, nothing over all these years is comparable to whatever I have been or am going to experience. It isn't solely about having a psychopath as a coach, but more of, not seeing the reason to fight for this over-driven coach. No matter how perfect the day is, it always has to end. It applies to a screwed up day too. I figured optimism does help. To see the rainbow, I'll have to bear with the rain, I know downpours linger on and never really stays away, but if holding on is all I could do, then I'll do what it takes to see the sun.

I'm sure, if I'm living through 2010. I'm not living it for myself.

Close your eyes, clear your heart, let it go.

Monkeybar theory

Hi all, I wonder how many are reading this. :)

If my life was ever a storybook, then it'd be the one left on the shelf collecting dust. The portion worth mentioning - arrival of the librarian once in a while to clear that layer of grey.

I did waste my time away the past weeks, ever since FYE ended. Nonetheless, I'm guilt-free. We are all humans and we need a break. Probably the one thing commendable amidst all these mental relaxation/unproductive-ness was my realization of the 'poor-rich' divide in SA. Contrary to the struggle of many to qualify for L.U.E., the insane 4H2s students are tearing their hair apart in a bid to attain that 80 rank-point that is from their POV, wholly realistic. I understand expectations of one are non-imposable on another, but should we shift the focus to being more sensitive towards others? Listening to these insaints whining over their crushed dreams of straight A's is enough a torment for those who failed to promote. What more, attempting a public announcement over their success right in others' face. You seriously don't expect them applaud you, do you? Be ashamed if you do. If you have a problem with containing your happiness, you should consider shutting yourself in the toilet and rejoice with the toilet bowl.

Everyone is occupied with PEEDOUBLEYOU. I admit that it's always demoralizing to get back a WR draft filled with red yet getting reminded of how confident we were previously before handing up our draft. But I'm more than willing to repeat this torture. I really love PW. I don't know how many JC students I've already offended with my previous sentence but that ain't any of my concerns. CLASSYSAVINASHAOKWANG, maybe you guys would never get to see, but 3 of you are the best I could wish for. Let's work harder for OP, PW is more than just a H1 for us. Press on. :)

Netball trainings have resumed. Sometimes I hate myself for being so indecisive, I hate it when I choose to disappoint myself instead of others. Okay. Fine, I think I'm staying in netball. Everyone's fighting, there's no reason for me to leave. Just 7 months more to go. Please keep me going.

Hey passion, don't get extinguished before the 7 months is up.

P.S: Vivienunehblackcakesim, I miss you! How I wished we were in the same school. I know I'm naive. Knock me out of dreamland. Seeyou soon. :)

Oh.

Okayokayokayokayokay, this post is dedicated to Geraldine. :D

So I wonder how you would feel, to be hardcore studying, neh I mean memorising biology and then 'Hey, I haven't stepped out of the house for 5 days already' a sudden realization like this strikes you. Yours truly is experiencing that right now RIGHT NOW and you know, YOU HAVE TO KNOW IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T, that it really sucks.

Okayokayokayokayokay. Back to biology. I promise I'll be back with photos which I've appeared in over the last decade. Stay tune. I love you Geraldine. Good luck for your promos. And please love organic chemistry. I don't know when did it started but I'm starting to doodle on rough papers when I'm bored and all I get was C-H, C-C and C=C bonds. :) And, I'm di-ene. (Dying) FUNNY ANOT? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA