I know when he's been on your mind
That distant look is in your eyes
I thought with time you'd realized
It's over, over

It's not the way I choose to live
And something, somewhere's got to give
As sharing this relationship gets older, older
You know I'd fight for you
But how can I fight someone who isn't even there
I've had the rest of you
Now I want the best of you
I don't care if that's not fair

Cause I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
When you've reached the bottom
It's now or never
Is it all
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here with nothing at all

There are times it seems to me
I'm sharing you with memories
I feel it in my heart
But I don't show it, show it

Then there's times you look at me
As though I'm all that you can see
Those times I don't believe it's right
I know it, know it
Don't make me promises
Baby you never did know how to keep them well
I've had the rest of you
Now I want the best of you
It's time to show and tell

Cause I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
When you've reached the bottom
It's now or never
Is it all
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here
With nothing...

Cause you and I
Could lose it all if you've
Got no more room
No room inside for me in your life

Cause I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
It's now or never
Is it all
Or nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
When you've reached the bottom
It's now or never
Is it all
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here
With nothing at all
All...

My life is pretty much in a mess right now. My 3-in-1's (cough+sore throat+flu) getting stuck to me, and it feels like I'm gonna be stuck with it forever. 4days3nights were disappointing, but I guess I shall not dwell on it since it's already over. O-V-E-R and done with.

I spent friday night talking to black, surviving on instant noodles how nice ha ha ha, talked the whole night with cihui on saturday, and talked to black again on sunday night.

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And it sucks to put up a facade.

December - a drain my blood dry month because it's my mum's birthday it's geraldine's birthday and yada yada...the list goes on.

When I woke up the next day after working for Noel (overtime on the first day (Y) I clocked a total of 14 hours non-stop hampers wrapping, standing. (Y)(Y) ), I wished I were dead. Amazing. I couldn't even walk properly. And both my arms were sore, very very sore. However, working at Noel gives me a great sense of satisfaction, and I guess that's what I need to get me through. Bring on the overtime(s), I so need $$$. I think my face's becoming $_$ (looks cool). HAHA. Nike backpack Adidas bag Netball and all that jazz, I'm coming. ^^

Steamboat for two consecutive days didn't turn out that bad. HAPPY BIRTHDAY GERALDINE! <3 HAHA not to mention Louisa's turning 17 in less than, say, a month. LOL.

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There are times it seems to me, I'm sharing you in memories.

I feel like a helpless marionette where I'm totally at the disposal of someone, where someone got to pull all the strings. Someone would pull a string and boom, I would punch myself in the nose. Then another string, and bam, I would whack myself on the head. Ridiculous, but that's how I feel.

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Anyway I'm on a movie spree. Watched 2 movies in 3 days. OKAY NOT EXACTLY A SPREEEE BUT STILL compared to the old me who watches a movie in 3 years. Yes, like WOW. Impressive eh. HAHA. I believe all the unsuccessful job applications really got me nuts. Bolt was a great movie, (no bolt's a dog not a movie HAHAHA) and it kinda erased the dog-phobia I have. At least now, I no longer think of dogs as animals which only go around barking and screaming their tongues off at strangers. Yes I like cats too. Hamsters included.

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I've straightened out my thoughts, too. No amount of self-pity's gonna get me anywhere. So yes, I'm gonna pick myself up like how I always do. I'm gonna grab any job and go. Like when you're hungry you don't really care whether you're eating chicken ass/chicken drumstick. They're all parts of a chicken and at least you get to eat the chicken. (Think of the African children) I can assure that you'll gobble up a chicken head if you haven't eaten for days too. (Provided you're still hungry because you know when you've starved yourself long enough, you're not hungry anymore) Still I pray that the chicken head don't get stuck when it's halfway down your oesophagus. I'm crazyy.

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Quarantine freaked the walnut out of me. Holy macaroni. Before the movie, I was pulling my cousin towards the counter, he was damn reluctant because he has a strong aversion towards such shows (then I was still wondering if he would scream because it'd really be damn funny and much more entertaining compared to the sudden appearance of a mutated rabbies human on the screen LOL) Ultimately I convinced, or rather, tricked him into the cinema HAHAHA. I couldn't believe my ears when I heard laughters coming from the seats at the back when the mutated rabbies(?) monster was coming out. Sadists, I concluded. After the movie I was the one that freaked out screaming like an idiot and he seemed more relaxed than before the movie (#@^%!&*) My god. What a loser. HAHA.

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Cycling was superduper fun! Especially talking about things you've kept within for so long. Complaining gossiping whining whatevering. I reckon its good to pour out your soul every once in a while. Lunch at Sakae was a complete comedy. I'm a wonderful comedian. Went into sakae on saturday for their buffet lunch. Hilarious. Oh so happily thinking it was a buffet, I called the waitress over and ordered gyoza, ONLY. She gave me that 'Are you for real' face so I followed after and returned a wide smile, saying thanks. And my cousin asked the same waitress for chopsticks. (I think she thinks we're weirdos) So the poor girl, much as she wanted to laugh, and at the same time probably taking pity on our mountain-tortoiseness, pointed to the box right beside my cousin. Laugh out very very loud. I burst out laughing. After for what seemed like eons, we finally realised that there's no BUFFET for the day. So fighting against the embarrassment, we flipped through the menu asap. So when our food came, ohmygod trust me that bowl which they use for ramen is bigger than my head. (considering that my head's not very small it's rather fascinating isn't it LOL) Yes I started laughing again.

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Lastly, someone said I have a face that works for CandyEmpire. HAHAHA.

I despo-ly need a job.
Canele is too good to be true.
I knew it right from the start because good offers never came knocking on my door.
Think positive.
Job applications at Cafe Cartel and Sakae are still pending. (And..?)
God knows how long I'll have to wait.
I'm crossing my fingers every single second, they'd better not crush my hopes.
I'd rather Recruit Express got burnt down and lost my contact number.
Instead of doubting the company's need to recruit.
I need events to drop from the sky.
They can pour down on me.
Suits me fine.
I sound like a nutcase talking to myself.
Nevermind, being a nutcase is better than being jobless.
...
I make no sense.
I never do.
That's depressing.
Oh yes that is.
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