Heartbreaker;

I've always wholeheartedly believed that I was only a little more naive than others. Not until recently did it dawn on me that 'naive' is defined as pure stupidity in others' perspective. And it's probably worthless and insignificant to certain people. I should thank god for lifting that blind off my eyes, but I would appreciate a subtle revelation. We've seen our fair share of separation, I thought it could desensitize the heartache we feel when people leave. So why am I still painstakingly, in my futile attempt, trying to alleviate this disappointment? I know. I simply can't accept the fact that I've been painting this perfect illusion right from the start, single-handedly. Blessing in disguise I'd say, if there was ever something good I could ever get out of all these shit.

Then, my usual patron of trouble - Netball. Cut to the chase. From the most bottom of my heart, I don't find the team's strategy (or you may call it her strategy) useful/effective. BUT, she is not realizing it. Therein lies the problem. I'm wasting my time preparing for A divs which is coming in three days time by practising in something that CANNOT work. It's like misplaced faith. I've just got to persist and carry on in this mistake and cross my fingers to pray that it'll carry us somewhere, far enough.

I'm drained by what's going on all around me. I'll never find a satisfied answer as to why life is such a bitch.